I was asked an interesting question last week..One of my coaching clients asked what happens if trauma is not resolved? She was wondering if she could heal her trauma while living in an abusive situation. Her situation, while unique isn’t all that uncommon. We often go from one bad situation to another, because we haven’t healed the trauma from the past.
If the traumatizing situation doesn’t end, the person just keeps getting sicker and sicker, and their nervous system continues to suffer. The trauma takes it toll on the entire body and over time your mental and physical health degrades. There is no healing of trauma until the traumatic stress and the dangerous circumstances end.
So the short answer is no, you cannot fully heal while continuing to live in an abusive situation. The first step to wellness is leaving the situation. No real healing can take place as long as you remain. If you are struggling in an abusive situation then please seek help.
You don’t have to live like this.
What is the Shadow Self?
It is the disowned parts of ourselves, usually developed in early childhood. It is also trauma that we as children, have no way to deal with or heal. Because these parts cannot be healed or eliminated they are repressed and live in our unconscious mind.
These traumas make up the unexamined and rejected parts of our personality. Every wonder why you seem to date the same type of person? Why you cannot get passed something from your past or why you are triggered by seemingly small actions of others? The answers lie in Shadow.
Until we make the effort to heal these parts of ourselves they will subtlety control our decisions and by default our lives.
We often forget that we have choices. If things aren’t working out like you expected or you are unhappy with your current situation, you can always change your path.
I know it seems overly simplified, but we ALWAYS have a choice. We can change our personal path and change our lives.
Whatever situation you are in right now, if it doesn't fill your heart with joy, love, and inspiration, you have the ability to change. It can seem frightening at first, but you can have the life you dream about. Happiness is within your reach.
Despite the large collection of empath resources available to us-including online coaches, therapies, books, websites, courses, & workshops, all aimed at empowering the HSP and empath, our plight remains an ongoing struggle. Many of the customary strategies don’t work because everyone is different. Lets discuss your unique situation and build a plan around it and not use the "cookie cutter" approach.
Contact me today for more information.
In todays busy and stressful society most of us are overwhelmed and feel burned out. This is magnified when you are an empath. This can put a strain on your relationships, your career and of course your health. But the good news is there are few a simple tweaks you can put into your schedule that will make a huge impact on your stress levels. In this post I will share a few simple changes you can begin implementing today to bring more calmness and peace into your life.
Begin by recognizing there is a problem.
Empaths don’t just sympathize or empathize with other people, they understand deeply what it is like for another person. Walk a miles in my shoes? Thats a given as an empath, when an empath connects with another person they begin to take on their emotions, fears and problems. This can be overwhelming! Don’t wait till you collapse in bed before you make a change. Begin today by scheduling downtime now. Set aside several hours each week to be alone. Meditate, read or just sit without any distractions or responsibilities. If there is a stressful family event coming up it’s okay if you bow out or at least don’t do as much as normal. You deserve time off too. Read on to learn some simple tips you can begin incorporating into you life today to ease the stress.
Click here to read more about empaths and their abilities, gifts and struggles.
Move Your Body
When your inbox number is higher than your step counter there is a problem. It happens, but rather than scolding yourself get up. Walk around your work area, go for a walk at lunch. Take the stairs instead of the evaluator. The more you move the happier your body will be and the stuck, stressful energy will move off you too!
Spend Time By Water
Many people, especially Empaths, find bodies of water calming, and relaxing. Most Empaths and HSP are drawn to oceans, rivers, and lakes especially in times of high stress. If you are feeling overwhelmed, even just sitting quietly for an hour by a body of water or pool can be a great help.
Stop the Negative Self-Talk
As an empath it is easy to become overwhelmed by everyone around you. One way to combat this is positive self talk. Take a moment and write out what you are saying to yourself, Is it positive and helpful or is it cruel and hateful? Would you say this to someone you loved? If not, make it a priority to stop the negative talk. With time and practice you can replace this negative dialogue with positive, loving words. Affirmations, meditation and self care can be a big help in ending negative self talk. Check these videos for affirmations you can easily work into your morning routine.
Skip the Family Drama
If you are feeling drained, overwhelmed or stressed out by your extended family you may need to step away for a break. It's not easy but sometimes we have to for our own peace of mind. Creating boundaries can also help you to stay calmer. Remember you are in control of your life and how much of it you give to others. If you are feeling tired, stressed or overwhelmed it is okay to say, “No” to family functions, holiday events and other celebrations for you own heath.
You have the right to limit your exposure to toxic situation and people. It is up to you to build in alone time and recognize when you are at your limit. Empaths are kind caring people who do so much good in the world, but this cannot happen when they are stressed out and overwhelmed. Decide today to begin taking better care of yourself.
If you would like more information on empaths then join our mailing list here (link) and why not visit me on FB? I post daily on empath issues.
You can also book a empath discovery session here. Where we can design a personalized plan to help you eliminate the stressor from your life and build in more happiness and joy.
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Life is about balance. We need balance in order to live a happy and healthy life. We need balance in our work life and home life, but when our lives get off track we no longer feel like we are moving forward. We stop doing things that make us happy, we neglect our needs, stop eating healthy and most things become chores instead of adventures. When we are in balance everything flows, life is easier and we are overall happier.
To help you get back on the right track here are five ways to introduce more balance into your life and get things going in the right direction.
When we don’t prioritize important things slip through the cracks and don’t get done.
Prioritizing and scheduling can be a great practice to start introducing more of a sense of balance to your life. We all have busy lives and long, never-ending to do lists. The only way to get everything done and find balance in our lives is by prioritizing what needs to be done when and scheduling our days.
The tricky part to this is deciding just what is important; in some cases, your work may take priority, but in others family or friends may take priority over your work on your to-do list. Only you can decide what is really important and what should be a priority in your schedule.
2) Set Goals
I talk about this all the time. Without a clear goal in mind we can easily get off track. Setting both long-term and short-term goals can prove to be incredibly helpful in achieving a balance in your life. It helps you keep your sights on what you want and what is truly important for you, avoiding all those shiny opportunities that seem great at the time but that actually only lead you further from your dreams. The short-term goals help you to track your progress as you work to achieve your long-term goals, and help you stay on track.
3) Set Your Schedule and Then Review It
Often we don’t know what will really work for us until we try. As an example lets say you decide you want to work longer hours Monday through Thursday to take off every Friday to spend time with your family. This sounds ideal, but it may not really be practical. Working longer plus the committing time may not leave you with enough time to get your household chores done or be home for homework. So if you do try a schedule and it doesn't work, don’t give up. Revise it. Could it be more feasible to take every other Friday off? Building they extra hours over a two week period instead of one? Tweak and revise your schedule until you find something that works with your life.
4) Find an Accountability Buddy
An accountability buddy is someone that holds you accountable for the goals you have made, the priorities you set, and the things you have said you wanted to do and accomplish. It ís easier to find balance and stick to your goals and schedule when you have someone to be accountable to that is also accountable to you.
Your relationship with your accountability buddy should be interactive and mutual or you could work with a coach.(like me). To help you stay on track and accountable.
5) Set Attainable Goals
For example, you can make your goal to win a Nobel prize in literature, or you can make it to be paid to writer. The latter is a more achievable goal that focuses on the process and journey more than the achievement or prize at the end. Anything is possible if you want it badly enough, but are you ready to make that level of commitment? If not then work on smaller, attainable goals now and you can always revise your long term goals later.
6) Remember It’s a Process
Life isn’t just about what you achieve, its about the journey. In order to achieve a proper balance, and get back on track you need to always keep in mind that this could be a constant struggle, at least until you learn the signals your are getting of course.
Everyone needs balance in order to live a happy and healthy life. Finding the proper balance in your life can be difficult, but it not impossible. Once you get back on track you will find it is well worth the effort.
I hope this article has helped to point you on the right path, towards a healthy balance in your life.
If you need help find balance I’m here. Book a one-to-one session today and let get you back on track and living the life of your dreams.
When you are an empath everything is different.
Your life is different and this can be difficult for other people to understand. For instance, workplace drama can become unbearable. When you are empathic to the point of being over taken by other peoples emotional energy (and you take it all home with you as well)! Life can get overwhelming fast.
This is especially true when you’re working in an emotionally intense environment. Empaths need calm, low key jobs that let them excel without office politics. If you need help in finding a new career direction I can help!
Contact me for a free 1/2 hour session today~
Did you know that even a small shift in air pressure can affect HSP & Empaths?
It can manifest as feeling faint, nauseated or as a headache. It is also quite common for us to get barometric migraines. Air pressure also affects pain conditions like arthritis, so approaching storms or heavy rainfall can bring on waves of pain, dizziness or headaches.
Being an empath or HSP brings its own challenges and gifts, if you need support navigating these challenges, I'm here to help.
Have you been feeling bad lately?
Like you spent a late night out drinking, but know you didn't? WTF?!
Could you be suffering from a Social Hangover?
It’s like an alcohol hangover, but without the booze or late night.
The physical symptoms vary from fatigue, headaches, and generally feeling blah- to more extreme cases that may require a day in bed to fully recover.
Why does this happen?
Because, we become ungrounded, or our energy centers are out of alignment- and we digest too much energy.
Know your limits, work on staying grounded, and up the self care.
"My zone of genius is around mentoring, guiding and coaching inspired, creative, conscious and spiritual entrepreneurs and individuals to connect with their deepest desires and values so they can rise with grace. I believe in treating the "whole person" and with simple energetic shifts they can reach their highest potential and serve from a place of inner peace and fulfillment."
“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
― Maya Angelou
"Every day is a new beginning, choose wisely."
-Sarah Parker Thomas
“We are all a work in progress.
And the possibilities are endless.”
Sarah Parker Thomas