Have you ever been in a relationship that was out of balance? It probably began normally, but somewhere along the way, it became all about the other person. Their happiness, their well-being, and their needs had to be met first, and what you wanted or needed didn't seem to matter. But the odd thing was, you stayed awhile or maybe are still in this type of relationship. This could be because of codependency. Codependency is a common issue that can affect anyone, but the good news is that you can overcome it. In this blog post, we'll go over what codependency is, and I will share some practical steps to break free from it and regain control of your life.
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a complex pattern of behaviors and emotions that often develop in relationships where one person consistently puts the needs of the other before their own. It can manifest in various ways, but some common signs of codependency include:
1. Excessive People-Pleasing: You might find yourself constantly doing things for others, even if it means sacrificing your needs and desires.
2. Difficulty Setting Boundaries: You may struggle with saying "no" and setting healthy boundaries in your relationships, fearing it will upset or disappoint others.
3. Fear of Abandonment: You might go to great lengths to avoid being alone or fear rejection and abandonment by loved ones.
4. Losing Your Identity: Codependency can lead to losing your sense of self as you become overly focused on the needs and wants of others.
Can you beat codependency?
How to Beat Codependency
1. Self-Awareness: The first step is recognizing that you're in a codependent situation. Self-awareness is crucial for any personal growth journey. Take some time to reflect on your behavior and emotions in your relationships. Are you consistently putting others' needs before your own? Are you afraid to be alone? If so, you may have some codependent tendencies.
2. Seek Support: It's essential to reach out for help. This could be in the form of a therapist, counselor, life coach, or a trusted friend or family member. They can provide guidance, encouragement, and a safe space to discuss your feelings and experiences.
3. Establish Boundaries: Learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries is key to overcoming codependency. Practice saying "no" when you need to and respect your limits. It's not selfish to prioritize your well-being.
4. Self-Care: Invest time in self-care activities that promote your physical and emotional health. This could include exercise, meditation, journaling, or pursuing hobbies and interests that make you happy.
5. Boost Self-Esteem: Work on improving your self-esteem by recognizing your worth independent of others' opinions. Self-affirmations, self-compassion, and positive self-talk can help with this.
6. Independence: Focus on reclaiming your independence and personal identity. Reconnect with your interests and values. Rediscover who you are outside of your relationships.
7. Communication: Open, honest, and assertive communication is key. Express your needs, wants, and feelings in a healthy way, without fear of rejection or judgment.
8. Take Small Steps: Overcoming codependency is a process that takes time. Don't rush it. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Codependency is a challenging pattern to break, but with self-awareness, and support, you can overcome it. Remember that you deserve happiness and healthy relationships just as much as anyone else. By taking these steps, you can reclaim your independence and build more fulfilling connections with others while maintaining your well-being. Don't be afraid to seek help when needed; it's a sign of strength and a crucial part of the healing process.
I hope you found this mini-guide helpful. If you have questions or need more info. please reach out.
Unlock Your Potential Through Writing!
When you put pen to paper, you give voice to your feeling, dreams and fears, creating a roadmap to personal growth and success. Journal your way to healing!
It's really an illusion, changing just one part of your day can shake up everything. Email to find out more.
How are you?
August has always been a month of magical moments, filled with laughter and birthday memories for me. Summer is on the way out, but the essence of lazy, carefree days still lingers, creating the perfect time for self-care, personal healing and energy work.
I hope you take time to enjoy this magical month and focus on all the good in your life. Personally, I feel so blessed right now, I'm about to burst at the seams. Thank you for being here and allowing me to walk the journey with you.
Reiki Blessings and Happy August!
If your relationship requires you to hold on tight, it probably isn't the right relationship for you. If you are struggling with this, let's discuss it.
When we aren't used to boundaries they can seem harsh. Saying "No" feels wrong, or even selfish and so does taking time for self-care. But these are all necessary steps to wellness.
Watch this short video to learn more.
Have you been shamed for having toxic experiences? Like somehow you "Asked for it?"
Trust me, no one decides to do this.
Toxic people aren't picky and YOU aren't attracting them. If you have a large amount of toxic people in your life its due to NOT having good boundaries, rather than your behavior. You didn't attract them or somehow "deserve" these lessons.
Work on your boundaries and they will disappear like magic.
You got this!
If you have watched any of my interviews then you may have noticed when I am speaking about Energy Medicine and anxiety that I shock most hosts by saying, "It's not a silver bullet, nor an instant fix." Most energy workers will tell you it is. They say things like, "One session and you can get a year's worth of results!" blah, blah, blah...So why am I saying something else? Well, 18+ years of hands-on experience as a full-time energy worker has taught me a thing or two about healing, especially deep-seated trauma. Illness, repressed emotions and false self-beliefs often manifest as anxiety, depression, and worry. You are a complex being with a lifetime of pain and emotional turmoil. It's going to take more than one session to see long-lasting change.
This is what I know to be true:
Storytime: I saw many, many clients come in with anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, migraines, IBS, PTSD, and cancer. These people were suffering through life, and I wanted very much to offer more help to them. The Reiki was helping, but after one to two months they were right back where they began. I did some research and took coaching classes from a big-name coach; because I knew there had to be a better answer.
I had already seen the pattern of unhappiness and chronic stress turn into many of these conditions.
I especially wanted to empower people to leave bad situations. But guess what? One of the first tenants this big-league coach taught was it can't be done. You can't help someone heal who is still in an abusive situation. They must leave the situation first and THEN you can help them build a better life. I was gutted! Especially because I knew that Reiki/energy sessions often gave people that burst of energy they needed to leave bad situations. But I also saw that most ended up floundering because when all you know is pain and anxiety it's tough to create a new, positive narrative. Reiki/Energy Medicine can balance the fight/flight energy centers and ease anxiety, but for it to stay in balance folks need to learn positive coping skills, they need to have a go-to list of self-care tools, and KNOW they are allowed to use them. They also need support.
So my personal experience is that energy healing will help you make a big initial change but, if you want this change to stick, (and to build a life where the anxiety/depression/pain doesn't come back) you are going to need coaching + Reiki to ensure you have the energy and tools to build this new way of being. These two approaches work together.
So if you are wondering if an energy session will help your situation? Yes, of course, but to resolve the situation for good you will need to commit to multiple sessions and coaching. If this sounds like something you want to try I am offering an introductory combo of two energy sessions (done over the phone with me) and three live coaching sessions at rock bottom prices. WHY? Because I want you to live the life you long for, free from worry, anxiety, and stress.
What you get:
2 Energy Medicine Sessions
3 Coaching Sessions
Bonus mp3s, check-in, and mini-classes
These are powerful one-to-one 75-minute sessions that will allow you to experience (and lock-in) powerful changes. Plus I will throw in extra bouns mp3s, check-ins, and mini-classes to support you between sessions!
If you have ever wondered what it would be like to work with someone who understands what your going through AND has 18+ years of experience, (plus two best-selling books) on energy medicine then now is the time! I will not repeat this offer.
Click the link and sign up. I will email you with calendar links to book your first session. There are extended hours for out-of-country clients. (I treat people all over the world, so we can accommodate your time requirements.)
Don't wait another day to feel better.
PS This will take you to my other site on PODIA its still me, just different items for sale. If you have time check it out and grab some cool free stuff too!
Be of Service
If you’re on the Spiritual Path, you’ve probably already heard the message of “service.” What it means is the best work is when we’re of service to others. Instead of doing something for us, for a reward, or to gain something. Being of service to something, a person, a group, a community, a cause, or a belief means that you’ve chosen to engage without expectation of reciprocation.
The Virgo energy right now is all about being of service, so use this week to consider whether you’re of service to others and maybe what you could do better. Check in with your Guides, journal about it, and take time to think it over. Use your gifts (no matter what they are) to be of service and positively impact the world!
"My zone of genius is around mentoring, guiding and coaching inspired, creative, conscious and spiritual entrepreneurs and individuals to connect with their deepest desires and values so they can rise with grace. I believe in treating the "whole person" and with simple energetic shifts they can reach their highest potential and serve from a place of inner peace and fulfillment."
“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
― Maya Angelou
"Every day is a new beginning, choose wisely."
-Sarah Parker Thomas
“We are all a work in progress.
And the possibilities are endless.”
Sarah Parker Thomas